My Buah Hati Pengarang Jantung

Marissa

Maira

Photos courtesy of Nana, my beloved cousin.

Musibah v Hikmah

Sometimes I underestimate myself. When the doctor diagnosed that I have another cancer in me, I thought I just couldn’t handle it anymore. It was too much for me. The last operation was bad enough. My wound collapsed and I had to undergo three-time-a-day dressing, the after effect of chemotherapy, the operation, the skin staplers!

Then finally I’ve decided to allow myself to cry. I cried a few times and when I was done I said to myself: I might die during the surgery, I might die because of the infection, I might die within a few months after chemo, I might die next year after they find another cancer in me, or I might die five years after one surgery after another. The truth is I will never know. Nobody knows except for Allah.

But one thing I know best, now I am still alive and I had better spend the time that I have left to the fullest. Nobody or nothing can take that away from me.

I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer only six months after they told me I have ovarian cancer.

Setiap musibah ada hikmahnya. Ya Allah… I have seen it. Subhanallah.. the ‘hikmah’ from these musibah was so great and so wonderful that it was so bloody indescribable. And the hikmah is , I feel loved! Not ordinary love but UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.